YEAH! PROJECTS OVER!!!

YEAH!!! Finally after a long time i can watch TV in peace.... Stupid projects almost killed me and i survived! So happy.... But still have another 4 more to go... Well, at least now i have some time to relax and catch up with my darlings...

Talking about that... I am losing it and i don't know why.... It just came all of a sudden and i want it to go away... Its unfair and not logical for it to happen... Haiz... Affecting me but i think it would affect the other party more.... sian man... Still hoping that it would go away and things would be the same again....

Okie, cheer up sheryl.. Anyway just ran 21km last sunday and my toes are purple!!! ARGH!!! So scary... But wanna thank evelyn for running with me and pushing me on.... Literally could not walk on sunday and monday lah.... Okie, i shall go enjoy me free time le... heeeeez...

Bad Day

ARGH!!! WHY AM I IN SGC??? Haiz, had service lesson today, then knew where my deployment is... Fated... Okie, enough on that...

Was alone on the way home today... Sleepy, tired and just dead.... Found a seat in the MRT and was damn happy... Sat down and started to fall asleep... Then suddenly there was something nudging my knee... Got damn irritated then woke up, and saw this ah ma lah.... I was prepared to give up my seat for anyone who deserved it better than me, but today was different...

The ah ma started to nudge harder and i started to keep my legs more in to not be of any contact with her... But she moved nearer and nearer and kept nudging me! I was pissed, so i decided to NOT give the seat to her... Then she held the railing at the side and i was sitting at the end of the row or seats... Her finger started to irritate me by SCRATCHING MY FOREHEAD AND HAIR!!! Ultimate gross can! I was so eager to just whack that irritating hands of hers! Okie, then they got off at Tanah Merah, fine...

Went to the supermarket to find bacon bits... But NTUC dd not have hence i went Shop N Save... Met this family there... This stupid mother and father with 2 daughters...

I was at the lane looking for bacon bits, then she just reversed with her trolley of kids and bumped me with her BIG FAT ASS... She did not even say sorry or what but just gave the "get lost you low class life form" look... Fine, maybe it was an accident... Then i proceed down the lane to another shelf of sauces... That FAT MAMA just HAPILLY pushed her trolley and KNOCKED into my bag... And again she did not say sorry and just don't care about me!

Her kids were screaming like as if they were taking a decibel test, see who is the highest pitched fellow... Wha... Damn pissed.... This kinda people should just die... They should like get banged by trolleys till they are all bruised and wounded... Then let them rot and die!

Okie, i am so evil today cause i just had a bad day... That is life i guess... And it is only the 2nd week of school and i am already so worn out... Why? Hahaz... I don't even understand why...

Missing training really sucks cause its so boring... Like no extra fun factor though its like torture factor too... Hahaz... And i feel that i am missing out my old friends... I guess it's because i am not moving on when the whole world is... Okie, feel that i just have to accept that, cause its life... But i am really not moving on after secondary school, just don seem to be able to... It hurts to know that you will never be as close as you were before and that people would forget you over time...

Think about it, after splitting up in different schools and when you are the only one out, it is impossible to not be left out as all our lives are into the different route and you are the only one thats really 'detached'... Okie, sad stuffs set in again... Not good... SMILE SHERYL!

Okie, got to continuing doing my research le... To those taking their A and O levels, ALL THE BEST OKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY LISA, CHARITY , GERALDINE, SOOK FUN AND MAUREEN!!! JIA YOU!!!

(= Sheryl is totally not living in the right world... =)

DOWNTOWN EAST SUCKS

Sheryl is in the house again!!!! Hahaz.. sorry lah, i had chalet and work, combo together i become very lazy to blog when i reach home.... And then everyone has been urging me to update my blog, so yes... I am updating now... Hahaz...

Hmmm, had a chalet at downtown east... It was fun, but boring too... To everyone, DO NOT GO TO DOWNTOWN EAST CHALET/ COSTA SANDS.... I went there, TV got problem, bathroom no sliding door(means i got the cheepo one), escape theme park close(i understand) and the worse thing- wild wild wet was under going renovation.... LIKE WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why would you close 2 attractions at the same time... Please pass this message around to your friends... Make NTUC Resort go bankrupt... So evil... Hahaz...

Then it was back to work.. Sian, 2 days under the same in-charge, the one which i don't like.... Haiz, but so long as i do my part, i guess it is good enough... Work like is terrible, and i have to face it soon once i graduate from studies... I miss my sec school life so much... When the class would have lots of fun irritating the teachers, when i was still actively involved in the band cause everyone was so committed and enthusiastic.... The different classes coming together and left on graduation night cause got some stupid fellows wanting to whack my friend...

SECONDARY SCHOOL LIFE ROCKS!!! MISS ALL MY DARLINGS, SISTERS, BROTHERS AND KIDS IN SCHOOL... Hahaz.. But i am still having fun in poly, with the team of crazy people , especially the girls who ALL love to take pictures in the toilet.... Still don't seem to understand why... Hahahaz...

Alright, got to go and do other stuffs... Will update as soon as i can... Hopefully... Meanwhile, to those who read my blog, take care and enjoy the weekends!!!! Muacks!

IMF

Oh my goodness, after a long time, i am back to blog again! Hahaz... Sian, working in banquet for the IMF function now... And i seriously feel that i am not doing the things or given the opportunity that i should be given...

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Sir Winston Churchill

I feel that we students have been cheated by the Suntec Management... they told us we would be service staffs, without specifying what kind of jobs... Many of us though that it was ushering, something new and fresh for us to do and to learn from... Then they came and tell me that i am in banquet... Like what the hell... I have been doing that for like a year plus le, cant they let me do something more challenging?

I was really irritated by the things that people do in there... If you do not care about the environment, then go and die... There were this plastic containers that we usually use to put nachos in, but it is like twice the size... They were clean and had no problems with it, due to lazy staffs who did not want to keep it in the store, one was told to destroy it with a penknife and throw it... I was disgusted with that act, it is like literally throwing money and killing the environment... Plastic is non-biodegradable....

Then another incident is that we were told to make coffee... Okie, one of the coffee, the water overflowed, so we were told to throw away, i understand, because there was too little water and the coffee might be too thick... So there was the other side where we used and put into the canister... There were leftovers and we were told to throw away... I do not understand why but we were told so we just did it... Maybe because coffee that is left off the heater would turn rancid in 15 minutes... But the machine is meant to keep it warm... So i don't know... After throwing away we were told to make a new batch, so we did...

Then when it was done, our incharge told us to throw it away... A WHOLE LOT OF NEWLY BREWED COFFEE TO BE THROWN AWAY!!! I asked a collegue,"really throw ah?" She said yes... Oh my goodness! I was EXTREMELY PISSED with the way they do things... You waste items and not do it once, but thrice....

I can't stand working in this kind of environment... It is killing me and i feel really unhappy working here... Haiz.. Just want to get over with it as soon as i can... I start to have phobia when i go to work... It is too much.. And i don't like the way we are treated... ARGH!!!

The Suntec Management is really screwed... Their planning sucks.. They actually are overstaffed but they also don't care... Then each person only work a few hours... The admin staffs are lucky, the others are not... Cannot stand it...

Applied research is a killer!

I stayed at home to study Applied Research today and it was a killer... Though i still have to study it later... My Goodness! Read here and there, kinda know what is going on, then look at how to infer statistics........... DIE! I really don't know what to do! Wonder how the seniors pass AR...

Very scared for the upcoming exams... Hmmm... Later must study till morning le.. Call me an owl, cause i love to study in the wee hours of the night... Hahaz...

Hmm, things between the two of us seemed better after a trash out yesterday... When he is stressed, he becomes The Hulk and goes wild... Not that wild but not his real normal self...

Oh! i recieved an email past few days and i found a very interesting FACT... HAhaz...

Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

Yeah, those in bold should be true i guess... Hahaz...

Jan
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn.

Feb
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

Mar
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

Apr
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confidant. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

May
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

Jun
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have an a very attractive partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

Jul
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

Aug
Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted. Lives by "no pain no gain" caring. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious. "charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

Sept
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

Oct
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

Nov
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

Dec
This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible... Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.

so which is yours? Must decide next time which month you want your child to be born in... Hahaz...

Stress!!!

Well, i have only like 5 more days to study for 4 subjects and i am feeling the stress now... I always start regretting in study week why i did not study earlier... 3rd time le still like that...

Was studying with Keng Kee and his 2 other friends today... Well, did manage to concentrate, but had a few good laughs too... Laughed the stress off... Hahaz.. So i met 2 new friends today... New study pals if they don't mind...

Okie, life between the two of us still the same i gues... No improvement or detoriariation.... But i just feel worse, cause like kinda no movement between us... Still keeping the faith, keeping it strong, but there are like many things and events that it making me weak and the faith weak as well... Maybe i am just thinking too much...

My darlings studying with their boyfriend execpt me... So sad... Have not went out for a rather long time, but i do understand that study comes first... Its just that i feel that he needs a break... Maybe because i am a ultimate slacker... Hahaz...

Trying hard to get the smiley me back... Cause i am really sick of the false front that i have to put up when i am really down... Smile Sheryl!!!

Oh ya! I also wanna thank those who have allowed me to complaint, lament and whine to themm... Hahaz.... Thanks guys and girls.... Love you all...

Memories

I miss my darlings...

This song rocks...

I don't believe
In the smile that you leave
When you walk away
And say goodbye
Well I don't expect
The world to move underneath me
But for God's sake
Could you try?
I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

I don't understand
Your love is so cold
It's always me that's reaching out
For your hand
And I've always dreamed
That love would be effortless
Like a petal fallin' to the ground
A dreamer followin' his dream

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?

I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?

It seems so much is left unsaid
So much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need
Baby, it's just you and me
Oh yeah

I know that you're true to me
You're always there
You say you care
I know that you want to be mine

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
That's all I'm asking for
Oh yeah

Where is your heart?
'Cause I don't really feel you
Where is your heart?
What I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard
To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed
And that's all I'm asking for
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?
Where is your heart?

By Kelly Clarkson
Album: Breakaway

AM i out of your life?

Guess my friends are damn sian with my blog that is filled with sadness.. Compared to theirs which is more cheerful...

Today is National Day, instead of spending happy moments with you, well we did not... The best part is that you went out and i did not know anything about it.. I guess if i did not call you(which i should not have), you intended not to tell me anything...

I cant say that i am unhappy, cause you will be affected, then you cant do your work or cant study, then in the end it will be my fault... I know i do not have the rights for you to report to me and stuff, but somtimes is it so hard to tell me where you are going? The best this is that you were online and could have told me online... You say you going for dinner, so i thought you going to eat as your father takewaway for you...

My prediction was wrong... Why you just cant say you having dinner out with whoever... I feel so cheated and kept away from you... Like i do not know anything that is going on... If you like it this way, then maybe its time i do it back to you too... I need not tell you who i am with, neither do i need to tell you what my plans are...

Hmmm, not a bad idea i guess... Back to square one again.. Now i am the stupid fool thinking things were getting better... Really really feel like giving up... But a side of me is still holding on to a glimpse of hope...

If you ever read my blog, go listen to the song All or Nothing by O Town...

I'm sorry to feel this way...

Well, things have not been exactly going well, though you keep thinking that it is... I seriously feel that I am drifting apart and that is not good... I have never felt this way in any relationship before... Maybe my expectations were too high hence the disappointment... Maybe I am just fated not to get a romantic and caring guy of my dreams... Haiz, why does life have to be like this? It is like my friends have such nice boyfriends and stuff... I do not demand for an extremely gorgeous and hot hunk and stuff, but just one that would be there for me in times of need...

I thought you were my fairytale
My dream when I am not sleeping
A wish upon a star that is coming true
But when everyone else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

These lyrics hit me hard when I was listening to the song... Haiz... What can I do now? I start to feel that being single and me again is what I want... Well, the grass is always greener on the other side right? The bottom part of this song is worse, hence I shall not put it... I really do not know what to do or what I want... It is like I just suddenly got a tight slap in my face saying please wake up and prioritise... Maybe I am not ready for a relationship at all, and for the times that we were together, I was just clinging on to the glimpse of hope that we were going to make it...

Now, I seriously do not know whether we can make it or not... Yes I am trying to give this relationship another chance... but I have been hurt, and I need much time to heal... You cannot possible expect me to recover immediately because you treat me with so much care all of a sudden... Ironically, I feel scared, because I know that this is not your original self...

I do not want both of us to be fake... If I have control myself in front of you or you have to control youself in front of me, then I think we should not be together... It is like trying to tame a wild tiger... It is not a matter of compromising and accommodating, but it is more of whether our characters match or not...

You say you see a bright future ahead, but sad to say I really do not... I feel that I do not deserve a hot guy like you, but someone who is more supportive and demure does... I am a wild girl, whereas you are a refined man... See the difference? I am trying real hard to give us another chance, but I cannot promise that it would turn out well... I seriously hope that both of us are prepared for the worst...

Not trying to scare you, but I rather we have a short yet happy moment together then a long and painful road to walk on... I hope you understand what I am saying though I know that you do not read my blog... I am seriously in a dilemma now and it is affecting me bad... I feel insecure and lost... Choices have consequences and I am afraid, terrified that if I make the wrong move, I will regret for life... Yes I might be thinking too much, but don worry... They are all thoughts and I will still love life as it is...

Then now I am listening to S Club Goodbye... And it goes like that...

Nothing last forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye no regrets in your heart
Is the only way to destiny
Sometimes goodbye no regrets
Is the only way meant for you and me
Well it is the hardest thing to say
I miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
Oh don't you cry
Cause TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES...

Maybe I am just a girl whom you will meet and come across before meeting the right one... Well, we never know right... Haiz... Sorry to have given you much stress, unhappiness and distraction... But I believe that we had our happy moments together too right... Well, always look on the bright side of life... Ironically I am not doing it, but I will...

Let us just leave it to fate and see what happens... No matter what, no one should be blamed...

Too tired, emotionally and mentally...

Stress man.. Pissed too...

Well, here i am again, complaining about life as well as school... Hmmm, has presentation to do two days back... since i felt that i did not do much, i decided to take the responsibility to compile the power point and stuff... So yes, i got that job and went off for my CCA..

After CCA, went home and was damn tired.. Eyes burning like fire due to the swim.. But still, i have work to do, hence i started to do them while waiting for others to send me their updated copy...

Did finish, check already then went to sleep... Next day wake up late, look like zombie, rush like siao and was like damn panic cause i have not even read through my script...

Reach school feeling better cause got friends to see, then other groups started to present, that was when hell started to happen... There was this groupmate that i am supposedly close to, but actually not... So she was supposedly the leader, but like not.. Okie, i am speaking rubbish le.. So there i was happily listening to the presentation when suddenli, i hear " SHERYL! Where is my quiz?! Why didn't you put my quiz inside?!" I replied " Don't have meh? Thought i put evryone's in le... Can double check?" Then she " DON"T HAVE LOH!" and gave the i just got screwed face...

After that i started to be piss liao cause she was like blaming me before i can even clarify myself... Then went to toilet with Shi Hui... When i cam back, got mi mi mo mo again... " SHERYL! What did you do last night?! Everything is in a mess you know? What did you do huh?" Wha that time reach the peak already, if Mr Tan was not there, i would have flared and scolded her back... I just took the laptop outside and started to edit the fonts...

Okie, its my fault to have overlooked the font size, as she was in the classroom, would it kill her to just edit for me? She can scold me after things are done, but why spoil my mood then my presentation got screwed?!

Think that she is a the biggest queen on earth.. I don'y mind being with her knowing that she in not very well liked... Not saying that i am popular or what cause i am totally not.... At least treat your friends with some respect can... I also got my dignity and ego... If i were to shout and B**** about you like that, would you like it? Most of the times you laugh like having an...... And you talk with a fake slag when you want to... I mean, yes i know your english is good and all, but not as if the whole group got F9 what... If you think that our english is too lousy for you, then jolly well find other friends lah... I am too low grade for you.. Cant do work to your expectations...

I also cant stand the way you talk about your mother of lie that you never sleep and all... Saying you are tired and so on... Please, nobody placed a gun infront of you that you must work, it is something that you chose yourself, so blame no one for it... Like i join my CCA, go home tired but i cant blame anyone! I dont believe that your mother is so mean to you, if she is then you would not be in this school cause she will not even care about you.. This kinda mother daughter relationship is a 2 way thing.. If you treat your mother with more trust and love, she will definitely feel it and be nice to you too... Wait till one day when you lose someone really important to you, then you will know how to appreciate... Telling your friends how bad your mother is will do no one good, but make you look bad instead...

Well, you decide what you want and do not bother me... Thanks... Cause i feel stressed to be your friend.. Just too low life.. I hate to be scolded without even justifying myself... ANd you hit that dead point... CONGRATULATIONS YOU BLOB...

So what do you want?

It was raining heavily, my heart was filled with fear and sadness... Wanted to settle things as soon as possible... But was rejected.. Guess now i know where i stand... Boarded the bus and then the sadness started to travel to my eyes... Needless to say, you know what happened next...

Well, as usual, we fought again... This time, over what i also don't know... Everytime i get hurt, i heal myself, but the more i heal myself, the more i feel like quitting.. cause i am so tired... What do you want from me? Yesterday ask you wanna go dinner together or not, then you reply "for what?!"... Seems like don't care much about spending time together... So today i decided to eat with my friends and then the war started...

I seriously don't know what you want from me... Want to spend time with you, but most of the time you need to study, we spend too much time together and so on... Fine, i accept that.. Now i can only eat with you on Mon and Wed, i am accepting it... Tomorrow is a public holiday, i know that you are busy, but would spending like 1 hour with me kill you? If it does, then i don't see a need for me to be in your life, cause i am simply wasting your time...


I strated to think about our times spent together... Was there more joy, or was there more agony... And i was stunned that there was more agony... We were almost quarreling everyday... Still, we managed to survive the fights and all till today... But, have we ever learned from our mistake? Are we even willing to change for the better? I start to feel that i really have been a negative impact to you... Perhaps i am just too low life to be with you...

Things that i do rarely seem to please you... Things like trying to cheer you up, asking you simple questions and more seems to invite more hostility from you... Why? Am i so annoying to you, why must you give me the pissed attitude most of the times... I am scared, fearful... Maybe i wasn't meant for you in the first place... I don't know, how would you handle this if you were in my shoes?

Sometimes, all i need is just for you to give me a smile or a hug, but i guess i don't deserve it.. Maybe others who are out there deserves more than me... I seriously feel that if we go on like that, nothing good would come out of it... I am badly affected... Since you hate me, why be with me? In this case i do not deserve your love at all...

I still love you, but are we losing it? There are times when i tell you how i feel, what i like or what i don't... But there are still times that you never fail to piss me off... I don't understand, does this make you feel better? After the times i try to be there when you want me to, is this what i am suppose to recieve? Or is this just my fate... To never get a guy who can shower me with the love, care and concern that i had always had dreamt of...

Well, guess the rule of treat others the way you want to be treated does not apply on Planet Earth... I can never be able to fufil the qualities that you want me to have, maybe its really time for you to find your her ahain... In any case you two get together, i will give you two my best wishes... She is THE ONE that you want, and i seriously feel that i am just a substitute...

We did have happy moments together, and i really enjoy those moments spent with you... I wish to have more of them, only if i am worthy of being with you... I am just too hurt to the extent that i am too tired... Maybe it is impossible to let you know how i feel or to tell you, cause i will be stressing you even more with my stupid voice...

I still love you alot and i don't wanna lose you just like that... There is too much to say, hence i shall just stop here... Seriously hurt, feel like crying till i run out of tears... Does the fault lie in me? All i want now is to relax and take a breather.. Maybe never to wake up again...

Things are going to get worse...

I am going to suffer for the whole year.... Cant take it anymore... School just suck... I dread going to school, not because of distance, but because of the people... I kinda never met people like that before... Wha, 2 weeks only and my blood is boiling!

By the 4th week, i would get high blood pressure and die... My goodness... How to settle such a problem... Maybe it is my fault for shutting myself in, but the more i get out of it, the more pissed i get as i feel that i am speaking to people of a total different language and frequency! If only i could turn back time and make things easier...

Somebody save me~
Pissed pissed pissed pissed pissed...
DARN PISSED!

SORRY!

Hello!!! Sorry so0o0o0o0 damn long never blog... Well, firstly, wanna thank Candice for making my blog more hip and trendy.. Sorry ah, computer idiot here.. And please do not be pissed with me if i never check for a very long time.. HAhaz... Forgive me..